For several hours on Monday, I thought I might soon be returning to work. It seemed there was the possibility of returning to work 2-3 days a week, with benefits, in our neighborhood, that was too good to pass up. I have been feeling a little bit antsy to work again, as I am afraid my brain is starting to drip out my ears. But it was really mostly a question of snagging those coveted benefits.
The moment it seemed like a possibility, I started to feel sad about the thought of leaving Matilda in someone else's care. While I am sure there are amazing child care situations out there, I was not picturing any of those. I imagined her in some awful day care center, neglected in the corner, with no one to provide the non-stop chatter/stimulation that I am capable of. (As an aside, I think I have really set myself up for trouble with the non-stop description of our world around us. Lately she asks for "more" anytime I stop narration on our walks. At dinner last night she was screaming "more" each time I would pause in recounting our day's adventures to Tim.)
Regardless, the opportunity did not turn out to be as golden as I had hoped. However, it was a really nice reminder to be thankful of my time at home with Matilda. When she is mid-tantrum and I haven't showered in two days it is hard to remember, but really we have such a nice thing going. We celebrated with a fresh batch of play dough and a trip to the playground.